Reception Music, Moment by Moment

Reception music has a different job from ceremony music: it has to move a room. The formal moments — the entrance, the parent dances, the cake — each need a song that fits, but they are only a small part of the evening. Everything between them is up to whoever is running the music, and how much freedom you give them decides whether anyone dances. The songs below are the suggestions Today’s Weddings readers have collected over the years; the Listen links search for each one.

For the first dance, which deserves a page of its own, see first dance selections. For where each moment sits in the evening, see the reception, hour by hour.

• The entrance
• Father and daughter
• Mother and son
• The wedding party
• The anniversary dance
• The cake
• Garter toss
• Bouquet toss
• The last dance

The entrance

The moment you’re announced into the reception as a married couple. Choose something upbeat and joyful with an unmistakable opening — the room should know what’s happening from the first bar. It only needs to play for thirty seconds to a minute.

Father and daughter

Traditionally the bride dances with her father — or with the person who raised her, a grandfather, a brother, a mother. It is often the most emotional dance of the evening. Choose a song with meaning for the two of you, and keep it to two or three minutes; many couples fade it out halfway and invite the other parents onto the floor.

Mother and son

The groom’s dance with his mother, often following straight on from the father–daughter dance, or played at the same time so both parents share the floor. The same advice applies: meaningful, and short.

The wedding party

A song that brings the wedding party onto the floor together — sometimes slow and paired, more often a fast free-for-all that signals the party has started. A good one to play straight after the parent dances to fill the floor.

The anniversary dance

A lovely alternative to the bouquet and garter toss. All the married couples are invited to dance; the DJ or bandleader gradually asks those married less than five years to sit down, then ten, then twenty, until only the longest-married couple is left dancing. The newlyweds often present them with the bouquet.

The cake

Music for cutting the cake is usually light, sweet and a little playful. Many couples now cut the cake in the middle of the dancing rather than after dinner, to keep the room going; see ordering the wedding cake.

Garter toss

The garter toss — in which the groom removes the bride’s garter and tosses it to the unmarried men — is increasingly skipped, and entirely optional. If you do keep it, the music is usually cheeky and upbeat, and the whole thing should be over in two minutes.

Bouquet toss

The bride turns her back and throws the bouquet to the unmarried guests; whoever catches it, according to tradition, will marry next. Many brides now have a second, smaller “tossing bouquet” made so they can keep the real one. Something old, something new explains where the custom came from.

The last dance

The final song of the night. Choose one that everyone knows and can sing along to, and decide whether you want the evening to end on a high — the whole room dancing — or gently, with something slower that lets guests drift home.

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For hiring the person who will play all of this, the archive’s how to hire a DJ is still a sound checklist.