Wedding Invitation Wording for Every Situation

A wedding invitation follows a set order that has barely changed in a century: who is hosting, the request itself, who is marrying, when, where, and what comes afterward. Once you know who the hosts are, nearly every wording question answers itself. The examples below use invented names; swap in your own, keep the line breaks, and the result will be correct.

The standard form

This is the classic invitation from the bride’s parents, for a ceremony in a church:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Reyes
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Elena Marie
to
Mr. Daniel James Whitfield
Saturday, the twelfth of June
two thousand twenty-seven
at four o’clock
Saint Brendan’s Church
Portland, Oregon

A few rules are at work here:

• The bride’s surname is left out when her own parents host, because it is already on the first line. If her surname differs from her parents’, include it.
• “The honour of your presence” is reserved for a ceremony in a house of worship. For any other venue, use “the pleasure of your company.” Many American stationers keep the British spelling honour on formal invitations. Either spelling is correct; just be consistent.
• Numbers are written out. “Four o’clock,” not “4:00 p.m.” A half hour is “half past four” or, more formally, “half after four o’clock.” The year is optional on a wedding invitation but usual.
• Addresses are rarely given for well-known venues. Include a street address when guests could get lost, and put directions on a separate card or your wedding website.
• The reception line goes at the bottom if everyone invited to the ceremony is also invited to the reception: “Reception immediately following.” If the reception is elsewhere, or only some guests are invited, use a separate reception card.

When both families host

If the couple’s parents are sharing the costs, or you simply want both families named:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Reyes
and
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Whitfield
request the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of their children
Elena Marie Reyes
and
Daniel James Whitfield

A softer version names the bride’s parents as hosts, then adds the groom’s below his name: “son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Whitfield.”

When the couple hosts

Couples who pay for their own wedding, which today is most couples, issue the invitation themselves:

Elena Marie Reyes
and
Daniel James Whitfield
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage

If parents are contributing too, “Together with their families” as the opening line includes everyone without listing who paid for what. It is now the most common opening in American invitations, and nobody will read it as a lapse in etiquette.

Same-sex couples

The forms above all work with no changes beyond the names. If parents host, “at the marriage of their daughter Claire Elizabeth to Ms. Naomi Grace Okafor.” If the couple hosts, list the names in whatever order you prefer. Alphabetical by surname is the usual tiebreaker, and so is simply putting first the person whose family is hosting. The phrase “to” versus “and” carries no hidden meaning; use whichever reads better.

Divorced parents

Divorced parents who are hosting together are each named on their own line, with no “and” between them, because they are no longer a couple. The mother is traditionally listed first:

Mrs. Anne Reyes
Mr. Thomas Reyes
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Elena Marie

If one parent is hosting alone, only that parent’s name appears, with “their daughter” changed to “her daughter” or “his daughter.” If a mother has remarried and is hosting with her husband, the first line becomes “Mr. and Mrs. Michael Grant,” and the bride’s full name is needed because it no longer matches: “at the marriage of her daughter Elena Marie Reyes.”

When both divorced parents have remarried and all four are hosting, list each couple on its own line, the bride’s mother and stepfather first. This is correct but crowded. Many families prefer “Together with their families” at this point, which is equally correct.

When a parent has died

By strict etiquette, only living people issue invitations, so a widowed mother hosts alone:

Mrs. Thomas Reyes
requests the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter
Elena Marie

Most couples today also want to remember the parent who has died. The graceful way to do it is in the line that describes the couple, not the line that issues the invitation: “Elena Marie Reyes, daughter of Mrs. Anne Reyes and the late Mr. Thomas Reyes.” A sentence in the ceremony program, or a moment in the ceremony itself, is the other good place.

When both parents have died, the invitation can come from whoever is hosting, such as a grandparent, a sibling or an aunt. Name them and their relationship: “Mr. Luis Reyes requests the honour of your presence at the marriage of his sister Elena Marie Reyes.” Or the couple can host it themselves.

A second wedding

There is no special form for a second marriage. The couple usually hosts, using the form above. If parents host, the bride’s current surname appears in full, since it may differ from her parents’ name. Formal titles such as “Mrs.” are dropped from the couple’s names when they issue the invitation themselves.

Renewing your vows

A vow renewal is hosted by the couple or, often, by their grown children:

The children of
Anne and Thomas Reyes
request the pleasure of your company
at the renewal of their parents’ wedding vows
in celebration of their fortieth anniversary

“The reaffirmation of their marriage vows” is equally correct. Leave out “honour of your presence” unless the renewal is a service in a church.

A double wedding

When two sisters marry on the same day, one invitation names both couples, the elder sister first:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Reyes
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughters
Elena Marie
to
Mr. Daniel James Whitfield
and
Sofia Anne
to
Mr. Marcus Lee Bennett

If the two brides are not sisters, each family is named separately in its own block, with the elder bride’s family first. In practice, most unrelated couples who share a ceremony send separate invitations instead.

Military and professional titles

Officers on active duty use their rank. For ranks of captain and above in the Army, Air Force and Marine Corps, or commander and above in the Navy and Coast Guard, the rank goes before the name and the branch on the line below. Junior officers put the name first, with the rank and branch on the next line. Medical doctors may use “Doctor,” spelled out on formal invitations. Judges use “The Honorable.” For a guest or host who uses gender-neutral language, “Mx.” is correct.

Dress codes and websites

Strict etiquette leaves the dress code off the invitation, but a short line in the lower right corner, such as “Black tie” or “Garden attire,” is now normal and helpful. Your wedding website belongs on the details card or the save-the-date, not on the invitation itself. Our guide to dress codes explains what each phrase asks of guests.

If the wedding is postponed or called off

If invitations have already gone out and the date changes, send a printed card as quickly as possible:

Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Reyes
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Elena Marie
to
Mr. Daniel James Whitfield
has been postponed
from Saturday, the twelfth of June
until Saturday, the ninth of October

If the wedding will not take place at all, the wording is simpler still: the hosts “announce that the marriage of their daughter Elena Marie to Mr. Daniel James Whitfield will not take place.” You owe no one an explanation. When time is short, a phone call, email or personal note to each guest is correct, and any gifts that have arrived are returned.

Before you send

• Proof every line aloud, including the names, and have someone outside the family read it too.
• Check the wording against your reply card, so the response date and meal choices match.
• Mail six to eight weeks before the wedding, or ten to twelve for a destination wedding. When to send the invitations has the full timeline, and how to address them covers envelopes and titles.

Etiquette guides from the Emily Post Institute, the stationer Crane & Co. and Brides magazine agree on nearly all of these forms. Where they differ, as on spelling honour and naming a parent who has died, we have given the most widely used choice and the accepted alternative.