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Etiquette

Anniversary Gifts, Year by Year

Paper, cotton, leather and on to diamond — the traditional material for every anniversary, what it’s meant to say, and gifts that honor it without being literal.

A row of anniversary materials on linen — a wrapped book, cotton, leather, a wooden box, a tin tray, silver and gold
Image generated for Today’s Weddings

The custom of giving a particular material for each anniversary is older than it looks, and its logic is lovely: the materials grow stronger and more precious as the marriage does. Paper is easily torn; cotton is soft but durable; wood lasts a lifetime; silver, gold and diamond endure for generations.

The list most Americans know was popularized in the twentieth century, with a parallel “modern” list added later — largely by retailers — to suggest more contemporary gifts. British lists differ in a few years. None of this is binding. Use the material as a prompt, and the gift will say far more than the material alone.

The first fifteen years

Year Traditional Ideas that honor it
1st Paper A letter written on your wedding day, framed; tickets; a first edition; a custom map of where you met
2nd Cotton Good bed linen; a quilt; a cotton robe for each of you
3rd Leather A travel bag, a leather-bound journal, a belt or watch strap
4th Linen or silk (fruit and flowers in Britain) Linen napkins for a dinner at home; silk pajamas; an orchard tree
5th Wood A tree planted together; a carved box; a piece of furniture made to last
6th Iron (sugar in Britain) A cast-iron pan; wrought-iron garden furniture; a cake from the bakery that made your wedding cake
7th Wool or copper A blanket; a knitted piece; copper cookware or a copper-bound print
8th Bronze A bronze sculpture or bell; bronze-toned jewelry
9th Pottery or willow Handmade dishes; a willow picnic basket
10th Tin or aluminum A vintage tin; a tin-type portrait; the modern list suggests diamond jewelry
11th Steel A good knife; a steel watch; tools for a shared project
12th Silk or linen A silk scarf or tie; linen for a table you use every day
13th Lace Lace for the home; a lace-trimmed heirloom piece
14th Ivory Ivory-colored china or paper — never real ivory; the modern list suggests gold jewelry
15th Crystal Crystal glasses; a decanter; the modern list suggests a watch

The milestones

Year Traditional
20th China
25th Silver
30th Pearl
35th Coral (or jade)
40th Ruby
45th Sapphire
50th Gold
55th Emerald
60th Diamond

Lists vary after sixty; the seventy-fifth is often given as diamond again.

The materials grow stronger as the marriage does. Paper is easily torn; silver, gold and diamond last for generations.

Making it personal

Go sideways. A paper anniversary doesn’t have to mean a card. A book that mattered to you both, a map, concert tickets, an origami flower for every month you’ve been married, a letter you each write to open on the tenth anniversary.

Make it an experience. Leather might be a weekend away with a new bag; wood, a day planting trees; crystal, a dinner with the good glasses you never use.

Return to the wedding. Frame the vows. Have the invitation printed on something that lasts. Recreate the first dance at home. Order a small cake from the same baker. On the twenty-fifth, many couples renew their vows — the readings and vow-writing guide work just as well the second time.

For parents and grandparents. The big milestones — twenty-fifth, fortieth, fiftieth — are often marked by the family. A party, a photo book of every decade, or a gathering of the original wedding party is usually more treasured than any object.

A note on the lists

If you see different materials elsewhere, that isn’t an error on either side. The “traditional” list was never fixed by any authority; it was assembled from older European customs and settled into its current American form in the last century, while British lists kept some older materials (fruit and flowers for the fourth year, sugar for the sixth). Choose whichever list gives you the better gift idea.

Written and edited by the Today’s Weddings editors. How we research and check what we publish is set out in our editorial standards. Spotted something wrong? Tell us.