Ceremony Music, Moment by Moment

Music does more work in a ceremony than almost anything else. It tells guests when to settle, when to stand, when to turn and look, and when it’s over. Each moment has a job, and the right piece for it depends as much on timing and tone as on taste. Here is what each one is for, with the song lists Today’s Weddings readers have built over the years. The Listen links search for each piece so you can hear it.

• Prelude
• Processional
• The entrance
• Unity and interludes
• Recessional

Prelude

The prelude plays for the thirty to forty-five minutes before the ceremony while guests arrive, find seats and settle. It should be calm, elegant and unobtrusive — this is not the moment for the music you love most, because nobody is listening closely yet. Instrumental pieces work best: classical chamber music, soft jazz, or instrumental arrangements of songs that matter to you. Plan roughly eight to twelve pieces, and let the last one or two build a little as the ceremony approaches.

Processional

The processional begins when the grandparents and mothers are escorted in and continues as the wedding party walks the aisle. It should be stately and steady enough to walk to, and — most importantly — long enough. Allow about twenty seconds for each person or pair; a party of ten needs three or four minutes. Choose a piece that loops gracefully or that your musicians can extend, and agree in advance how it will end. The order of the ceremony sets out who walks in when.

The entrance

A change in the music signals the moment everyone has been waiting for, and the room stands and turns. Traditionally this is the bride’s entrance; today it may be either partner, both together, or both in turn. The piece can be the most dramatic of the ceremony — a swell of organ, a single voice, the song that means most to you — but it needs a clear beginning so the room knows to rise. Many couples switch from the processional music to the entrance music with a pause of a few seconds for effect.

Unity and interludes

Rituals in the middle of the ceremony — lighting a unity candle, pouring sand, signing the register, a handfasting — leave a minute or two of silence that music fills beautifully. Choose something gentle and a little shorter than you expect the ritual to take; musicians can always repeat a phrase. The archive’s piece on the unity candle ceremony explains that ritual in detail.

Recessional

You are married. The recessional should be joyful, upbeat and instantly recognizable — the moment the whole room exhales and applauds. Start it the second after the pronouncement and the kiss, so there’s no awkward silence, and make sure it runs long enough for the wedding party and the families to follow you out.

A note on religious venues. Many churches restrict secular music during the ceremony, and some synagogues and other houses of worship have their own requirements. Ask the officiant or the music director before you choose — and if the building has its own organist, ask what they love to play. For the music after the ceremony, see reception music, moment by moment and the first dance selections.