What Is Real, from The Velveteen Rabbit
“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
Where it fits in the ceremony
In most ceremonies the readings follow the officiant’s welcome, before the vows; a second reading can come between the vows and the exchange of rings. In a civil ceremony, some registrars ask to see readings in advance to confirm they contain no religious content — this one will pass.
Pair it with
Two readings that balance this one:
- No Woman Was Ever Nearer to Her Mate — “To be together is for us to be at once as free as in solitude, as gay as in company.”
- John Anderson, My Jo — Robert Burns on a long marriage: climbing the hill together, and going down hand in hand.