On Friendship, from The Prophet
Your friend is your needs answered. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. And he is your board and your fireside. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.
When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you with hold the “aye.” And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unclaimed.
When you part from your friend, you grieve not; For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.
And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth; and only the unprofitable is caught.
And let your best be for your friend. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.
Where it fits in the ceremony
In most ceremonies the readings follow the officiant’s welcome, before the vows; a second reading can come between the vows and the exchange of rings. In a civil ceremony, some registrars ask to see readings in advance to confirm they contain no religious content — this one will pass.
Pair it with
Two readings that balance this one:
- Dearly Beloved (Book of Common Prayer) — “Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here” — the opening of the 1662 marriage service.
- The Little Boat — Tolstoy’s Levin discovers that marriage is like getting into a little boat: delightful, and difficult.